A zephyr called Sudha

Hi friends, I tell you my experience. I am Kiran and at that time I was 33 years and working as a researcher in a Southern city. I go to many colleges for guest lectures and before I start the session I usually describe the work my organization carries out, my specific field of expertise and also offer help to students in designing their research. One day I went to meet a colleague of mine in his residence and at that time he was taking bath. The servant opened the door and asked me to wait. At that time I found two persons, one man about 55 years and a girl of about 20 years sitting in the sofa waiting for him to meet. After a few minutes my friend walked in, introduced me to them. He is an employee from railways and the girl is his daughter doing M. Sc in University. We talked for about one hour and soon we all became family friends. The girl, whose name is Sudha (not her real name), used to visit my centre along with her friends for collection of some research articles and as the Librarian would not allow them access, she comes to me for help. I arranged for it and before she leaves the centre she comes to thank me. It went on for a few weeks and months. In meanwhile I also started visiting her home with my wife and 2 year old daughter. When she comes alone we used to chit chat in my chamber for about one – one and half hours. We used to have tea and I used to enquire about career and her future plans and the quality of education in her university and the behavior of her teaching staff and Head of Department. In the meanwhile her friends also used to make visits to my centre and used to spend some time with me in the pretext of seeking advice.

I did not mind her visits nor my staffs as usually many come to me for professional guidance or advice. She also used to talk to me on phone for long time and I did not suspect anything. In those days I was literally terrified when ever I received a call from her as she would not put it down for 30 minutes. I could not say anything to her as she the daughter of our family friend. At that time, though I knew some thing about extra marital affairs, I never suspected anything of this sort with her. She is about 5.2 tall, thin body, slightly dark complexioned and bright face and one would say she is good looking girl. Her body is not exactly petite. Brest line is normal. But she is very intelligent and used to give very good and impulsive repartees when ever I teased her university, professors and friends. One day when she came to me as usual and that day I did not have much work and by and large free. We discussed about her studies and films. Then suddenly it occurred to me that she resembled Sharmila Tagore, the hot Bengali actress of seventies. I wanted to tell her, but my throat went dry. Drank some water and tried to tell her. Again it occurred that if she misunderstands what will happen. She may not tell her parents but may mind my behavior. I was in doubt and initiated discussion saying that I wanted to tell her some thing and hesitating that she may mind. She asked me to say it. I said that she may mind. She repeated that she would not mind at all and finally I told her with a trembling voice that she looked like Sharmila Tagore. She replied saying that none else remarked so far like that and I explained that the shape of her head is similar to Sharmila’s especially the upward and slightly projected movement towards the back side of the head. She was pleased and I asked her whether she minded it. She said it was OK. After a small talk she left my place.

Next week her parents came to my house on a courtesy visit on a scooter and after some time Sudha also joined. My wife prepared nice snacks and we enjoyed the evening and it was time for them to go. He requested me to drop his daughter on my scooter up to the city bus stop which is about 1 km from my home. I took the scooter and she was sitting behind me with out touching me. I felt nothing. During the journey I did not speak to her as her parents are on the other scooter just little ahead of me. I dropped her and returned home. She came to my centre after three days and she was wearing a loose fitting curta & pajama with a pallu. After some time I told her that I wanted to say something to her and hope she would not mind. But I was not able to speak and at her instance I told her she has a curvaceous body and a saree would fit her better than a Punjabi suite. She did not mind it and reasoned that the dress is more convenient during lab sessions and also while trying to catch the bus etc., After sometime she left the place. One day she came to my house on Saturday after finishing her half day college. That time we were preparing to go out shopping and I invited her too join us, which she agreed and we all went to market in my car. We had nice time joking and my wife said we shall have some snacks, we finished and she left for home. On return journey we discussed about Sudha and my wife did not suspect anything.

One day Sudha telephoned saying that she wants to visit me on Saturday and whether I would be available in the forenoon. I said yes, though Saturday is a closed holiday. Saturday arrived, and I completely forgot about it and left for market to purchase books in a book exhibition. I returned to home, and went to centre to check post, if any. When I opened my room, Sudha telephoned saying that she visited the centre and returned to her college. I told her to forgive me for not keeping up her appointment. She said never mind and said that she wants to come after about one hour and arrived at about 11.30. That day not many people were there in the office except few clerical staff and one head clerk. That day she wore a traditional Tamil dress, Pavada, jacket with half saree and was really looking very cute. I instantly liked her dress. The greatness with most of the traditional dresses is that it reveals much without being vulgar. It was revealing a bit of her tummy and the contours of breast line visible through the half saree when ever she turned around. We were friendlier by then and she was seeking my help for the preparation of final year M.Sc dissertation. She told that next night her mom and younger brother are leaving for Andhra and her father is accompanying them up to Bangalore. As she would be alone in the night she had requested her friend to be her escort in her house. Her father was expected return day after evening. We started taking as usual and this time I gathered some courage and told her whether she knows the meaning of “Monday is greater than Sunday”. She said that she did not know and asked me to explain. I told that her bra strap has come out of the blouse (jacket) on the right shoulder and students in my days used to tease girls like that. She was little embarrassed and readjusted it. I said Sudha you are looking very beautiful and look more curvaceous. She blushed and said she is not a good looking girl. I said you are one and praised her more.

We were sitting opposite to each other across my office working table in my chamber and I never thought it fit touch her feet with my feet. After some time, I told her that I would look for somebody to fetch a cup of tea, got up from my chair opened the door and returned. I stood near her chair and said no body around. Impulsively I caught her hand, said you are very cute today and tried to touch the nice voluptuous portion between the blouse and pavada. She protested it saying it is not good thing. I said only once I want to touch it and tried to kiss her even. In the meanwhile she got up from the chair and wanted to leave the room. The door was ajar and she started saying in English, it would have been OK had I not been married and she does not want me to progress. I pleaded her that I would touch her once. She said No firmly. I was worried that somebody may overhear and I said Ok and promised not to touch her. After few minutes she left. Next day being a holiday at about 11 am I went to her house on my scooter, rang the bell and she was surprised to see me. She would not let me in for first few minutes saying no body inside the house. After wards she opened the gate and asked me sit on the sofa. She asked how come I am here. I told her I really wanted to see her and lied that my wife knew about my proposed visit to her place. She appeared convinced. She was in her nighty and was yet take bath. I asked her show me her thesis which she had completed by then. She had acknowledged my name in the thesis in a flowery language. She was still angry with me for my previous day’s behavior and said that she committed a mistake in acknowledging my guidance and help. I once again asked her to forgive me and she seems to have mellowed down.

As I knew a bit of palmistry, I said would make a few predictions and took a thread from the roll and started measuring the length of the life and other lines and started explaining the technique. We were friendlier now. After a few moments she asked my whether I am interested to see her collection of saris and proceeded to the Almirah and opened it. I did not realize why she wanted to show them to me, and because of my disinterest she locked it up and returned to the hall where I was standing. After a few minutes I said I am going and told her never in my life I had talked to any girl like this and friend ship with her would remain a sweet memory for me for the rest of the life and also said that when I become a old man, I should have something to cherish from the old memories. I requested whether I can hug her once. She said yes and my heart found no limits. I went near her took her both hands and kept them on my neck and shoulders and I kept my hands on he waist, pulled her closer, distant enough so as not let her breasts touch my chest. We stood motionless in that embrace for a couple of seconds and whispered that I never dreamt of this beautiful experience. I enjoyed every moment of my hug. I was great. We freed ourselves and sat down chit-chatted for some time and I again hugged her and without saying anything she came closer to me and melted in my hands. I could never gauge her feelings, though there was an age difference of almost 13 years between us. This time my hands wandered on her back, held her bottom cheeks, cupped them and gently squeezed them. With my palm I was alternatively rubbing her bottom very gently. And I did not make any attempt to kiss her.

After parting from the embrace she went to kitchen brought some sweet and gave me to eat. I wanted to share it with her and she refused to eat. I took her forcibly in to my arms, pressed the sweet against the teeth. She tightly closed both the jaws and I could not make her eat. In the meanwhile she went inside her parents bed room, I too followed her hugged her. She wriggled her self out of the hug and sat down. I too sat down near her and told that I want to lay my head in her lap and relax. She told me to go home and do the same with my wife. I said I want to do it with you. She was reluctant. This time while trying to convince her, I slid my hand inside her nighty from the opening around her neck and touched her tender breasts. She asked me to remove my hand which I obeyed. I pleaded her to keep my head in her lap and she was reluctant. After a few moments she got up and I went near her and pulled her towards me and we both fell on the bed. As I was trying to kiss her small mouth, she very tightly gripped both her lips so not to give me access to her mouth and tongue. All her energy and concentration was focused in not giving me access to her beautiful lips. And in the process she stretched herself completely to stiffen the body and I also stretched my body and I came on top of her. Our bodies were one on another with me on top of her. So as to arrest her movements, I pulled her hands over her head and pinned them with my hands. With my torso I covered hers and like an insensitive person I tried to touch her lips. She was vehemently trying not to give access to her lips and in that process my cheeks brushed hers. I too did not realize that my chest was brushing against her breasts and after a few seconds I realized that her right of not being kissed unwillingly has to be respected and I loosed my grip over her hands, and like a lump I rolled to her side. Our bodies with lying side by side and by then I have unintentionally touched all her body with mine. She too realized it.

We both got up from bed; she arranged her ruffled hairs and was coming out of the bed room. I also stood up, impulsively I opened the zipper of my trousers, put my hand inside and re-arrange tucked in my shirt. Sudha saw all of it as she was standing only two feet away from me. I requested whether she can show me her breasts by opening her zipper of the nighty. She took a long pause of 2 minutes and finally said no. I was disappointed to hear her answer. This particular incident has left an indelible mark on my psyche. In retrospect I feel that I have behaved like a fool. How would any girl, open the garments and show her breasts. No conservative girl from a descent family would ever do it. Even after 18 years of marriage, my wife still feels shy to open her blouse and bra even in the night and when I open them, she immediately covers them with pallu or bed sheet. I should have gone near her, take her in arms, engage in an embrace, plant a peck on her fore head, cheeks and throat and while she enjoys the moment I should have opened the zipper and should have touched them gently. Even now at the age of 49 I still remember this incident and it remained my sweet memoir, never the less I could not see them. Coming back to the denial of my request, I was disappointed and requested her again. She again said no and asked me to proceed to my home. I said yes, and sat on the sofa in the hall. She was standing in front of me. Suddenly I remembered the words she had spoken to me about 4 months ago. One day in the afternoon, Sudha came to my home and at that time me and my wife were watching a Tamil movie and in a particular sequence the hero easily lifts the heroine off the ground, who was a bit bulky, in to air and holds her tight across her waist and she slowly slides against the hero’s chest and in that process her breasts get crushed against his chest. Seeing this sequence Sudha commented how cans hero could lift the fat heroine so easily. I had not made comment at that time.

I went near her and narrated the old sequence and told her I want to try. Before she could consider it, I bent a bit forward and held her legs above knees and lifted in to air. I am 6 footer and at that time had a good figure, with a very tiny protruding tummy. She being a small girl with a thin frame, I could easily elevate her and her thighs were almost across my chest and tummy. Like in the movie episode, I slowly started releasing her from my grip and she started sliding and in the process our bodies came in to very close contact. When her chest was opposite my mouth, I paused for a moment and though whether I should take her breasts in to my mouth. I wanted to do it, but was damn worried, that she may mind it. Slowly she touched the ground and we both enjoyed our body contact. At that point of time, she all of a sudden said that she does not want sex. I was not able to understand the implication of her statement, and did not analyze the meaning, as entire blood flowed in to my head making me blush as it was my first with a lady other than my wife. It was full of excitement with an element of fear mixed with anxiety. At that time, I told her that I am also not keen about sex and told that I had taken about a month after marriage to consummate it as my spouse had pain while entering. Then I told her I am attracted towards her as I never had any girl friend in my life.

After a few moments, while she was leaning against the wall, I went near her wrapped my right hand all around the shoulder, pulled her closer and again our bodies were almost touching each other. I then said that I need to tell her a secret. She asked what it is. I bent and whispered in to her right ear that I love her and looked in to her eyes. She was happy. I said I want to tell her one more secret and this time whispered in to her left ear that I love you. By now she put her arms around me and I was enjoying the intimacy. In the meanwhile my left hand moved up, it cupped he right breast and slowly started massaging it over her nighty. I again bent forward, and whispered in to her right ear, what is the size of her bra, to which she replied don’t you know the size, since you have already held one in your hand. I did not respond the way a sensible person would do. At this point of time, I should have replied that unless I fully see can’t estimate the size. I should have taken the signal and slowly opened the front zipper on the nighty and exposed her lovely guarded assets after pushing the bra straps sideways. Instead I asked her who of her breast is smaller and what color is her areola. In the meanwhile the clock showed 2.30 and as she had to go to college, I told her that I would take leave. I do not know what way she felt at my peculiar behavior. May be she was disappointed at that point of time. But it came to an abrupt end, all because of me, because I had the fear that her father can return from Bangalore at any point time and he should not find me there all alone in his home with his daughter, in a compromising position. I hugged her again said thanks and returned home. While driving me again thought whether I should go to her again. I decided not to go again as, by then with all those episodes, my head was all most bursting with excitement. It gave a sense of fulfillment as I got what was missing until then in my life. There was no feeling of guilty of cheating my lovely wife. It was a great moment to cherish for a long time, till me end. Being intimate with some body, oh it was too good. I was very joyous.

Reached home and told her a cock and bull story that I went for an inspection to neighboring village. She said that she had been waiting for me without taking food. We had lunch, as I was horny I had sex and the door bell rang. When my wife opened the door, it was Sudha. She came in side and started narrating that the photographer arranged by me, who had printed photos for her M.Sc dissertation, was refusing to give her additional copies and sought my intervention to come and speak to the photographer immediately. She said to my wife that Sir should come immediately and speak or else she would be in difficulty. My wife asked me to go and help the damsel in distress. I took out my car, opened the back door and drove off. After reaching the next street, I pulled car side ways and she came and sat in the front seat. She became very emotional and said that she can’t forget me and can’t live without me. She wants me completely. In an attempt to console her I put my hand on her thigh and slowly rubbed. After a few seconds I told that I too love her and wanted her as much as she desires me. Impulsively I said, I shall marry you and talk to your father. We were roaming aimlessly and when she became steady, I dropped her at city bus stand to go back home. While waiting in the car, she said that some of her classmates have seen her with me and she was little bit happy that her friends have sighted her with a young handsome man.

Next day her father returned. As my wife traveling to Madras by train and as her train reservation was not confirmed, I dropped my wife and daughter at railway station and I went to her house to tell her father to arrange for reservation. He immediately took his scooter and proceeded to railway station. She was very strangely tight lipped and serious. To cool her down and to prolong my stay at her residence, I asked her for some water for the car radiator while I was pouring water I tried to start a conversation with her and she did not say a word. Afterwards, though I visited her a number of times, she never came in front of me and rather avoided me completely. She never came to our house. My friendship broke my first girl friend ended like that. She took up a few temporary assignments and got Ph. D from a very prestigious institute. Two or three times, I went to her institute and tried to meet her. She refused to take my calls and meet me. It pained me a lot. It left deep scars on my heart. Like a zephyr she came in to my life and left in the very same way, leaving a few sweet memoirs to cherish for the rest of the life. Now she is married and happily living with her smart hubby and two wonderful kids in a highly developed country. I wish her all happiness and best. In retrospect it looks too many that I made certain tactical mistakes and had I responded PROPERLY I could have had her. It was good that I exhibited improper behavior. Had I behaved with the intention of capitalizing the situation, the consequences would have been bad. Now she got her first kiss from hubby, she offered her virginity to her husband and she may not be having very many guilty feelings. As I feel, she also may be feeling that it was a sweet memoir. I may not ever meet her. There is an adage that we can fathom the depth of the ocean, but not the heart of women. I would like to know why she came in to my life and why she shunned me, subsequently. Why she stopped talking to me from the very next day onwards her guilty because of my innocent wife, because of the fear of marriage, why? Persons interested to analyze the reasons may like to give their response to me [email protected].